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Episode 207

Wild Rebels (1967)
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** Gypsy seems depressed, so Joel shuts of her higher functions, so she can tell him what’s wrong. For the invention exchange, the Mads made hobby hogs. 
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Joel invented 3D pizza.

A stock car race is underway. Rod Tillman, one of the racers, is involved in an accident early on in the race. His car bursts into flames just as he escapes from it. Dejected, Rod is ready to call it quits. He starts auctioning off his racing stuff. He gets $450 for everything. He grabs his guitar, that’s right he has a guitar, and he heads out into the great big world.
Rod (Steve Alaimo) hitches a ride and ends up at Swinger’s Paradise, a local club. He does a little dancing to loosen up. Seeing he has a guitar, the band asks him to come up and play a little. Of course he rocks the house. Man! A racer and a rocker!
Taking all this in is a biker gang called Satan’s Angels.
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The leader, Jeeter, talks Rod into staying with them. He has a business proposal for him. While biker girl Linda takes Rod to the gangs home, Jeeter and the other two, Fats and Banjo, beat up a group of college kids that danced with Linda.
Back at the gang’s hideout, Linda starts putting the moves on Rod. After making out for a few minutes, Rod puts a stop to it just before the guys arrive.

** Break
** Joel tells the bots about all the intellectuals that were in biker gangs.

Jeeter (John Vella) explanis what they need Rod for. The gang wants to rob some banks and need a good get-away car driver. Rod turns them down. Banjo wants to kill Rod but Jeeter lets him leave. He thinks Rod will be back wants his money runs out.
Rod starts walking down the road when the cops stop him. Rod tells them about the gang’s plans. The cops want Rod to work with them to catch the gang.
Sometime later the gang sees that Rod has got back into racing. They head to the track to see what happens. An undercover officer is also in the race. At a prearranged time the cop knocks Rod out of the race. Once again Rod escapes just before his car bursts into flames.
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The gang is waiting for him as he leaves the track. With the offer still available, Rod joins the gang.

** Break
** It’s “Wild Rebels Cereal”
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Their first hit is a gun store. They make off with money, guns and ammo then return to gang HQ. Jeeter starts to layout the plans for the big score. They don’t trust Rod yet, so they make him wait outside. The cops are staking out the place. Rod signals them and leaves a note for them to read under some rocks. Linda (Bobbie Byers) comes out to keep an eye on Rod, so of course he sings her a song. Somehow his acoustic guitar turns into a small orchestra. After the song, Linda explains that the gang doesn’t care about the money. There just stealing for kicks. Linda and Rod start kissing again. Suddenly Banjo (Willie Pastrano) comes up and starts to beat up Rod. Rod fights back and is able to get the better of him.
The next morning they head out for trouble. The plan is to rob a small town bank that all the farmers have put there money in. Along the way they figure out they are being followed by the cops. They take the back way into the town and slip in unnoticed.

** Break
** Joel sings a song to Gypsy but the bots attack him and take him down. Gypsy says she’s in it just for the kicks.

The four head in while Rod nervously waits in the car. When he sees two local police driving by he signals to them. He tells them about the robbery so they head for the bank. Banjo blasts them with a shotgun. They grab as much cash as they can and head for the car. They figure out that Rod double crossed them so they force him to drive at gun point. The heat sets up road blocks but they get by the first one. Now the chase is on through the backwoods. They head for the beach and they all run inside a lighthouse. A gun fight ensues. Rod and Linda steal a longing glance at each other as the bullets fly. For some reason many of the cops don’t seem to know that they shouldn’t stand out in the open, so the bad guys start picking them off. Banjo freaks out and decides to make a run for it. 
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He hops on a police motorcycle but they gun him down. Oh no, the man got him. Of course the bike bursts into flames. Fats (Jeff Gillen) heads to the top of the lighthouse to try and get a better angle. All he gets is shot in the head. Rod starts up the stairs with Jeeter chasing after him, shooting at him. He gets Rod in the arm. Jeeter corners him at the top and prepares to blast him. Suddenly a shot rings out. It’s Linda and she’s shot Jeeter. He falls over the railing to his death. Linda and Rod have one last kiss before they take her to the pokey. Rod walks off into the sunset.

** Joel is in a really good mood after the movie. He helps the bots see the fun in it and they start having a party. Dr Forrester doesn’t get it but Frank does.

This was the first of four movies Steve Alaimo appeared in. He mostly was a singer and still works in the industry today.
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John Vella appeared in four films including More American Graffiti.
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Catherine (Bobbie) Byers has narrated more than 700 audio books.
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Willie Pastrano was the World Light Heavyweight Champion from 1963 to 1965 with a lifetime record of 58-11. He died in 1997 at the age of 62.
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Jeff Gillen had several small parts in the 70’s and 80’s. His most famous part was that of the department store Santa that tells Ralphie “You’ll shoot your eye out kid” in the movie A Christmas Story.
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Best Riffs
## “My friend over here is Banjo.” He came from Alabama on my knee!
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## Oh, just cause I’m white you think I can play the blues…
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## Boy, you taste like Joseph Goebels!
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I really liked this one. The is so stupid and is great to watch. It’s the kind of movie that fits the show perfectly.
4 out of 5

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Episode 206

Episode 206

Ring of Terror
Part three of The Phantom Creeps
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**Tom and Crow set off the movie sign, which makes Joel head for the theater. The bots have a good laugh.
For the invention exchange, Dr Forrester turns Frank into a living game of Operation.
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Joel makes a pinball game out if his organs.

A funeral procession walks into a graveyard, only to never appear in the film again. Instead we meet the caretaker, Mr Dobson.  He talks to the camera. He goes on about regrets and if the dead could get another chance or something. After that he goes looking for his cat in the graveyard. He sees a gravestone, Lewis Moffitt – 22 years old.

The scene shifts to a college dorm where Lewis is doing a little studying. Lewis looks to be about 40 years old.

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In fact all the guys in the dorm look to be about 40. The other guys are trying to get Lewis to go have some fun but he is having none of it. Got to study. Suit your self Mr Square. Wait that’s not 50’s slang is it. Eh whatever.
Over at the middle aged ladies dorm, the girls are of course chating about guys. Lewis’ lady friend Betty is a little worried about him. She calls him and gets him to go out on a date. They drive out for a little smooching under the stars. Betty wishes Lewis wasn’t studying to be a doctor. When Lewis explains why he likes medicine, Betty promises to never bring it up again. Just then a snake slips into the car. Never fear, middle aged college man is here. Lewis gets the snake out of the car and manly stomps it to death.
Over at the school cafeteria, the students are all having a great time.

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The band is playing nondescript music, no one is dancing too flashy and everyone else is just sitting there. We also meet Tiny and Ragdoll who seem to be very interested in food.

** Break
** Joel and the bots put on a presentation of an “Old School”. Classes include: hearing aid maintenance, blue rinse, napping and remembering your name.

Lewis and Betty arrive. Betty tells everyone about their snake adventure. Lewis is so brave. After consuming a bunch of pie and sodas, Tiny and Ragdoll decide to do a little dancing. Everyone gets a real kick out of watching these two dance.
The next day some of the “older” students are discussing what sort of things they are going to make the new fraternity pledges do to get in. Lewis asks his professor if he can assist with the upcoming autopsy. The professor is impressed by the old man, I mean young freshman.

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That night they finally get a dead guy. All the medical students are summoned to the morgue. The body is still wearing a gold ring which gives one if the fraternity guys an idea. As the autopsy progresses the students begin to look a little squeamish. That’s is except for Lewis. He’s loving it.
Afterwords Lewis has a nightmare. His roommate asks him why he always says “don’t turn out the lights” in his sleep. Lewis explains he has had the same nightmare since he was a kid. In the morning there’s more talk about hazing and what not.

**Break
**Joel performs an autopsy on a Hoover vacuum for the bots, including Gypsy.

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She can’t take watching it and passes out. Of course she says “Richard Basehart” on the way down. Tom and Crow don’t fair much better.

Lewis learns that one of his classmates has died in a car accident. He and his roommate go to the funeral home that night to see the body. A breeze blows out the only candle in the room and Lewis (George E. Mather) gets all panicky. After his friend lights the candle he remembers why he has the bad dreams. When he was 8 his grandfather died and his coffin was in the living room. He sat up all night in the dark waiting for the body to get up and come after him. He asks his roommate not to tell anyone.
The fraternity brothers are all sitting around the library coming up with stupid things for the pledges to do. When they get to Lewis they have a great idea. Its so great that the movie fades to another scene.
Betty is ticked at Lewis because they say he has been acting so odd lately. Lewis gives her a lecture on listening to whomever “they” are. What the hell is the matter with you Betty? That’s twice you’ve questioned Lewis. What are they teaching you in home economics?
We then join some sort if beauty pageant, with all the 30+ ladies from school, followed by a barbecue. Look its Tiny and Ragdoll. They can’t get enough of the food. It’s time for all the pledges to get humiliated. First one gets a bucket of water over his head. Wow, what fun. Next one is dressed as cupid. He sees Tiny and Ragdoll hiding in the bushes eating sandwiches.

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What the fuck! He finally gets a girl to kiss him so I guess he’s done.
At 11:30 Lewis finds out what he has to do. He has to go and retrieve the gold ring off the dead guy from the autopsy. Lewis is down right scared but he assures Betty (Esther Furst) he will be fine. He drives off to the cemetery and heads for the mausoleum. He stumbles around for a while before finally finding the right tomb. As he tries to pull the ring from the dead guys finger, the cat from the beginning of the movie hisses at him. Now really frightened Lewis jumps up and tries to leave. The dead guys hand gets stuck on his coat causing Lewis to completely freak.

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He suffers a heart attack and dies right on the spot.
We’re back with the caretaker blah blah blah something about fear. The end.

** Break
** Joel offers ram chips to the bots if they can think of anything that’s good about the movie. No luck. The three are sure the experiment is over when suddenly Dr F and Frank tell them they have to watch the short still. Oh no.

The military intelligence guy, Bob, bailed out of the car just before it went over the cliff. Zorka runs off and steals a car. The good guys and Zorka all head back to his home. Before they get there some spies show up. Monk comes to and they try to get some information out of him. Zorka, invisible again, frees Monk and he takes off just as the government guys show up. The spies take off too. Car chase scene time. Bob shoots the tire of the bad guys car and the car is forced to stop. Two of the spies get away but Bob and company grab the third one. Before he can talk he’s shot dead by the others.
Back in his secret lab, Zorka shows Monk the secret of his experiments. It’s inside a box that’s hidden behind a wall.
Dr Mallory uses one of Zorka’s disks to make an antidote and revive the pilot from part 2. He and Bob head for Zorka’s place again. Mallory starts trying to figure out what the disk is made of but Zorka sneaks in while invisible and wrecks his test. The spy guys decided to offer Monk a load of cash to get Zorka’s secret. He sneaks the box out of the lab but is caught by g-man Bob. They start to take Monk in for questioning when the box starts causing the car to malfunction and the high voltage power lines to collapse. Oh no, its going to hit the car. End of the short.

** Frank sings a song “If chauffeurs ruled the world”. Dr Forrester gets quite annoyed by it but Joel and the bots loved it.

George Mather: He is best known for working on the visual effects for Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope.
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Esther Furst: This was her only staring role.
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Best Riffs
# “It’s not very pleasant to look at, I must admit.” But with rice and the correct seasoning you’ve got a wonderful meal.
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# “We wouldn’t be gone long…” if I know you.
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# You taste like “they”!
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This movie really stunk. The cast is way to old to be college students, the mocking of the overweight couple is grotesque and nothing happens. It’s really bad. Episode wise this one is OK. The host segments are again pretty sharp.
I give this a 2 out of 5.

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Episode 205

Episode 205
Rocket Attack USA
And part 2 of the Phantom Creeps

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**Joel has given Tom Servo a “haircut” and tries to explain all of the hair care products he’ll need. Joel invents an adding machine that prints out candy dots. The Mads turn a Foosball table into a water polo game.
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See episode 203 for part one of the short.
The pilot of the plane is found to be in suspended animation. Military officials think one of Zorka’s inventions caused the accident.
Zorka is devastated by his wife’s death. He vows revenge on the scientist that forced him into hiding. Zorka and Monk head back to the house and sneek by the guards. They get into the lab to retrieve the robot, the disc’s and spiders. A reporter then slips into the house.  Then two guys from military intelligence show up. Monk panics and tries to make a run for it. He’s shot by one of the military men and captured. Zorka goes invisible and takes off in a car.  Military guy and the reporter follow in her car. Zorka pulls over and hides. While the military guy checks out the car, Zorka knocks him on the head with a branch. He then sends the car over a cliff with the military guy in it.
End of the short.

**Joel explains what the cold war and MaCarthy era was, but he he mixes up Joe MaCarthy with Charlie MaCarthy.

News reel style footage talks about the Soviet Union launching Sputnik. US military intelligence discuss what the satellite may be able to do and what the US needs to do to launch a satellite.
Meanwhile in West Berlin, CIA officer George White summons his best agent, John McKay.
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John is to slip into Moscow and find out what the Russians really know about rocketry. He is to meet up with another agent when he gets there. A woman!!!! John seems really excited by this. Whoa there big fella, lets not have another situation like in Vienna, White tells him. John is then flown into Russia via a small plane and left to find a way into Moscow.
A voice over explains that Moscow is very prosperous under the present government but the military is threatening to take over. John makes his way to a café to wait for his contact. He sits and watches some local entertainment.
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The agent, you remember, a woman, slips a message to him. Later he meets her at her home. Her name is Tanya. That’s the girls name not the name of the…. never mind. Tanya tells John she is the mistress  of the head of the Russian defense ministry. They have all the info they need from Sputnik to complete their missile design. John wants to contact his bosses but will need to stay with Tanya until he gets further instructions. Tanya warns him that the Russian comes over drunk sometimes looking to get a little something on the side so he will have to hide when he does.

**Break time
** It’s civil defense quiz time.
Joel asks questions about civil defense and the bots, including Gypsy, get to answer them. Gypsy of course answers “Richard Basehart”
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After one of the defense ministers “visits”, Tanya explains that there is a power struggle in the government and they are trying to decide if they should attack the US or not. Back in America, the military is pushing to get their own missiles ready.
The Russian comes a calling again and he wants her to go with him to see the new missile they have. That’s not an euphemism for anything by the way. When he passes out on the couch, John comes out of hiding. He tells Tanya he’s jealous and wants her to himself. He plants a big one on her right then and she seems to like it.
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The US tests a missile of their own but it goes poorly. The military is very depressed.
Tanya is away with the minister so John is just hanging around her place. Suddenly there is a knock on the door. It’s a British agent with a message from Tanya. He is to take John to meet Tanya at a secret location.
John meets up with her at an old building. She’s brought along some dynamite for John to use on the missile. After a little bit of kissey face the two head off. Meanwhile British guy gets picked up the Russians and is interigated. The guards at the missile site are now on high alert. One of them spots our heroes and shots Tanya but John gets away. He slips in and plants the dynamite on the missile. After a brief gun fight , John takes off into the woods. The Russians are able to remove the explosive as John races back to where Tanya was shot. Another guard guns John down.
All of the sudden we are back in the US. A man is getting on a train. His wife is concerned because of the air raid warnings that have been going off.

** Break
** There is a Russian ship outside. It’s “Sorri Andropov” and his two robots. Joel wants to get together but unfortunately the ports aren’t compatible.
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Bill, the man from the train, is a radio broadcaster and he reports that the Soviets have a big meeting and they seem to be backing off from their desire to blow up the US. Guess he was wrong as we get to watch a Russian fuel the missile and off it goes. The missile heads for New York and everyone heads for cover. The missile strikes Manhattan and 3 million people are killed.
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** Joel and the bots are really pissed off about the movie. Dr F likes the response. Frank thinks they should send them are higher quality movie next time.

John McKay was in The Dead One and Cuban Rebel Girls.
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Monica Davis was also in The Dead One and The Swap and How They Make It.
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Best Riffs
# I’m standing in a shotgun shack, in another part of the world. This is not my beautiful wife.
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# It must be a stealth missile, there’s no shadow.
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# Hmm, let me see here. There was an old hermit named dave, who lived by himself in a cave. This doesn’t prove anything. What’s this supposed to be.
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This movie is dreadful. The short is much better and it’s just a typical serial with cliff hanger endings. The episode itself was really good. Some really good riffs and all the host segments were good.
I give this a 3 out of 5.