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Episode 206

Episode 206

Ring of Terror
Part three of The Phantom Creeps
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**Tom and Crow set off the movie sign, which makes Joel head for the theater. The bots have a good laugh.
For the invention exchange, Dr Forrester turns Frank into a living game of Operation.
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Joel makes a pinball game out if his organs.

A funeral procession walks into a graveyard, only to never appear in the film again. Instead we meet the caretaker, Mr Dobson.  He talks to the camera. He goes on about regrets and if the dead could get another chance or something. After that he goes looking for his cat in the graveyard. He sees a gravestone, Lewis Moffitt – 22 years old.

The scene shifts to a college dorm where Lewis is doing a little studying. Lewis looks to be about 40 years old.

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In fact all the guys in the dorm look to be about 40. The other guys are trying to get Lewis to go have some fun but he is having none of it. Got to study. Suit your self Mr Square. Wait that’s not 50’s slang is it. Eh whatever.
Over at the middle aged ladies dorm, the girls are of course chating about guys. Lewis’ lady friend Betty is a little worried about him. She calls him and gets him to go out on a date. They drive out for a little smooching under the stars. Betty wishes Lewis wasn’t studying to be a doctor. When Lewis explains why he likes medicine, Betty promises to never bring it up again. Just then a snake slips into the car. Never fear, middle aged college man is here. Lewis gets the snake out of the car and manly stomps it to death.
Over at the school cafeteria, the students are all having a great time.

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The band is playing nondescript music, no one is dancing too flashy and everyone else is just sitting there. We also meet Tiny and Ragdoll who seem to be very interested in food.

** Break
** Joel and the bots put on a presentation of an “Old School”. Classes include: hearing aid maintenance, blue rinse, napping and remembering your name.

Lewis and Betty arrive. Betty tells everyone about their snake adventure. Lewis is so brave. After consuming a bunch of pie and sodas, Tiny and Ragdoll decide to do a little dancing. Everyone gets a real kick out of watching these two dance.
The next day some of the “older” students are discussing what sort of things they are going to make the new fraternity pledges do to get in. Lewis asks his professor if he can assist with the upcoming autopsy. The professor is impressed by the old man, I mean young freshman.

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That night they finally get a dead guy. All the medical students are summoned to the morgue. The body is still wearing a gold ring which gives one if the fraternity guys an idea. As the autopsy progresses the students begin to look a little squeamish. That’s is except for Lewis. He’s loving it.
Afterwords Lewis has a nightmare. His roommate asks him why he always says “don’t turn out the lights” in his sleep. Lewis explains he has had the same nightmare since he was a kid. In the morning there’s more talk about hazing and what not.

**Break
**Joel performs an autopsy on a Hoover vacuum for the bots, including Gypsy.

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She can’t take watching it and passes out. Of course she says “Richard Basehart” on the way down. Tom and Crow don’t fair much better.

Lewis learns that one of his classmates has died in a car accident. He and his roommate go to the funeral home that night to see the body. A breeze blows out the only candle in the room and Lewis (George E. Mather) gets all panicky. After his friend lights the candle he remembers why he has the bad dreams. When he was 8 his grandfather died and his coffin was in the living room. He sat up all night in the dark waiting for the body to get up and come after him. He asks his roommate not to tell anyone.
The fraternity brothers are all sitting around the library coming up with stupid things for the pledges to do. When they get to Lewis they have a great idea. Its so great that the movie fades to another scene.
Betty is ticked at Lewis because they say he has been acting so odd lately. Lewis gives her a lecture on listening to whomever “they” are. What the hell is the matter with you Betty? That’s twice you’ve questioned Lewis. What are they teaching you in home economics?
We then join some sort if beauty pageant, with all the 30+ ladies from school, followed by a barbecue. Look its Tiny and Ragdoll. They can’t get enough of the food. It’s time for all the pledges to get humiliated. First one gets a bucket of water over his head. Wow, what fun. Next one is dressed as cupid. He sees Tiny and Ragdoll hiding in the bushes eating sandwiches.

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What the fuck! He finally gets a girl to kiss him so I guess he’s done.
At 11:30 Lewis finds out what he has to do. He has to go and retrieve the gold ring off the dead guy from the autopsy. Lewis is down right scared but he assures Betty (Esther Furst) he will be fine. He drives off to the cemetery and heads for the mausoleum. He stumbles around for a while before finally finding the right tomb. As he tries to pull the ring from the dead guys finger, the cat from the beginning of the movie hisses at him. Now really frightened Lewis jumps up and tries to leave. The dead guys hand gets stuck on his coat causing Lewis to completely freak.

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He suffers a heart attack and dies right on the spot.
We’re back with the caretaker blah blah blah something about fear. The end.

** Break
** Joel offers ram chips to the bots if they can think of anything that’s good about the movie. No luck. The three are sure the experiment is over when suddenly Dr F and Frank tell them they have to watch the short still. Oh no.

The military intelligence guy, Bob, bailed out of the car just before it went over the cliff. Zorka runs off and steals a car. The good guys and Zorka all head back to his home. Before they get there some spies show up. Monk comes to and they try to get some information out of him. Zorka, invisible again, frees Monk and he takes off just as the government guys show up. The spies take off too. Car chase scene time. Bob shoots the tire of the bad guys car and the car is forced to stop. Two of the spies get away but Bob and company grab the third one. Before he can talk he’s shot dead by the others.
Back in his secret lab, Zorka shows Monk the secret of his experiments. It’s inside a box that’s hidden behind a wall.
Dr Mallory uses one of Zorka’s disks to make an antidote and revive the pilot from part 2. He and Bob head for Zorka’s place again. Mallory starts trying to figure out what the disk is made of but Zorka sneaks in while invisible and wrecks his test. The spy guys decided to offer Monk a load of cash to get Zorka’s secret. He sneaks the box out of the lab but is caught by g-man Bob. They start to take Monk in for questioning when the box starts causing the car to malfunction and the high voltage power lines to collapse. Oh no, its going to hit the car. End of the short.

** Frank sings a song “If chauffeurs ruled the world”. Dr Forrester gets quite annoyed by it but Joel and the bots loved it.

George Mather: He is best known for working on the visual effects for Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope.
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Esther Furst: This was her only staring role.
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Best Riffs
# “It’s not very pleasant to look at, I must admit.” But with rice and the correct seasoning you’ve got a wonderful meal.
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# “We wouldn’t be gone long…” if I know you.
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# You taste like “they”!
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This movie really stunk. The cast is way to old to be college students, the mocking of the overweight couple is grotesque and nothing happens. It’s really bad. Episode wise this one is OK. The host segments are again pretty sharp.
I give this a 2 out of 5.

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