Episode 316

Gamera vs Zigra

Joel and the bots are having a party complete with a Tom Servo root beer keg. They even have a Gamera piñata. Magic Voice tells everyone what a great guy Joel is. It looks like she’s had a little too much root beer.
Dr Forrester and Frank invented the Three Stooges Guns. Joel turned Crow into a shish kabob.
Dr Forrester is really excited about this week’s movie. Joel tells him they already know it’s the last Gamera movie, Frank told them.

Dr Forrester was not very happy with Frank.

A voice over explains that man has concurred space and established a lunar colony but it’s not all roses. They encounter a ruthless alien race know as Zigra. We then see them blast a few moon buildings with a laser from their spaceship.
On earth, we meet Helen and her big sister Margee. They are getting ready for school. So is Kenny. He lives next door. While this is going on for some reason we get to see killer whales at Sea World doing some tricks. It seems that Helen and Margee’s father is a biologist and he works there and so does Kenny’s father. The three children head off to school and we get to see more Sea World stuff. This time it’s seals. Looks like one if the dolphins has died and some scientists are going to figure out how it died.
Henry, Kenny’s father, and Tom, Helen and Margee’s father, are working along a shoreline and complaining about how polluted the water is.

They hear a report over the radio of a large earthquake in the Indian Ocean. It reached magnitude 16 and was larger than the earthquake that hit Peru yesterday. The two decide to have some lunch. They walk to their boat but the lunch is missing. Helen and Kenny have eaten all the food and are hiding on the boat. Henry and Tom are not very happy but then they all see a spaceship out over the bay. The ship disappears under the water. The four of them head out in their boat to see what’s going on. Just about this time, Gamera flies over head. Suddenly some sort of beam comes out of the spaceship and whoosh, the little boat is gone. They end up inside the spaceship where a woman explains she is from Zigra, which is 400 light years away. They are way more advanced than the humans and she will prove it.

She makes an announcement over all radios that she will create a magnitude 18 earthquake that will hit Tokyo.

** Break
** Tom and Crow have made a model of what the insides of Gamera looks like complete with game room, laundry and a place for Kenny to stay.

The earthquake destroys Tokyo. She explains that their planet was ruined by all of their superior science so now they need a new plant and Earth fits the bill. Besides we are just ruining the oceans anyway so they will live there and be the humans masters.
She orders the men to tell the world to submit to Zigra. When they defy her she puts them in a trance. Kenny and Helen run from her. Zigra lady suddenly stops moving. The kids grab their parents and get back in the boat.

Kenny pushes a button on a control panel and the boat reappears on the water.
The Zigra master, who looks kind of like a shark, tells the women to get those meddling kids. They know too much. He orders her to kill them but leave everyone else for slaves and food.
With their fathers still useless, the kids are trying to get the boat to shore. They see a large tanker ship across the way. Before they can go to it the Zigra spaceship, which looks kinda like a shark, blows it up. Shark-ship then turns it’s attention to the kids boat. Thankfully Gamera flies in and saves the day. He picks up the boat and carries it to shore. Gamera flies away as the kids go looking for help.

They come across a hermit. He tells them they are on Noah island. Luckily it’s pretty close to the Sea World center.
They make it back there and the military is interested in finding out what the kids know about Zigra but they really can’t tell them much so they turn to their fathers. They hook them up to all kinds of machines but they just continue to stay in a trance. With nothing else to do they decide to attack Zigra.

** Break
** Since everyone is really bored with the Gamera movies, Joel has everyone make a diorama if their favorite scenes from any of the Gamera movies.

The attack doesn’t go so well as Zigra wipes out the entire squadron. The military orders everyone to evacuate.
Meanwhile Zigra lady appears on shore. She is looking for those two busy-body kids. She finds a couple of young ladies on the beach and puts them in a trance. She takes the clothes off of one of them so she can fit in with all the humans. The clothes she took was the girls bikini.
We then get a long sequence were a hotel manager and the head trainer at Sea World argue over who gets to buy some fish. Eventually the trainer starts heading back when he stops and pics up Zigra lady on the side of the road. He takes her to Sea World and she starts looking for those darn kids.

Realizing she is a little under dressed she trances a lady she encounters and takes her outfit. When a soldier stops her in a hallway she puts him in a trance. She finds the kids watching the news on tv. Before she can grab them the kids make a run for it. After a long chase they give her the slip. The two if them start hollering for Gamera to come a rescue everyone.
Sure enough Gamera comes flying in. He goes underwater to look for the Zigra ship. He finds it and gives it a good toss across the sea floor. Zigra fires it’s laser at him but Gamera ducks out of the way. He breaths fire at it then the ship actually turns into a giant shark like creature.

No matter, Gamera flips it over, grabs it and heads for the surface.
Back at Sea World, the Zigra lady is still chasing those blasted kids. The trainer sees this but he is unaware who the lady is but he has a idea that may help the two fathers. Maybe their brains are working like dolphins. The scientist thinks he may be on to something. He yells into a transmitter and it wakes the men up. The two of them remember what happened to them and the Zigra lady. She has finally caught those pesky kids but the humans try the transmitter trick on her and she collapses on the ground. Turns out she is not from Zigra after all. Her name is Laura and she was a geologist working on the moon when Zigra attacked. She was put in a different kind of trance and made to do what Zigra wanted.
Now what to do about Zigra. Apparently he was able to get away from Gamera. Gamera has been put in a trance as well and is laying at the bottom of the nearby bay.

Henry and Tom take a bathysphere down to see what they can do. They try sonar to wake him up but it doesn’t seem to be working. Somehow Kenny and Helen snuck into the bathysphere. Then Zigra shark ship boat thing swims by and clips the bathysphere and it starts to leak.

** Break
** Joel and the bots are back having more root beer and talking football when suddenly Kenny and Helen from the movie appear outside the ship riding on Gamera.

They try to talk to them but it seems the two have never grown up and don’t really have anything to say.

Zigra scoops up the bathysphere, swims out to deeper waters and drops it on the ocean bottom. They contact Sea World and try to figure out how to get back to the surface. They only have an hour of oxygen left and the surfacing controls are not working. Zigra comes up to them and they shine the headlights on it. Zigra doesn’t like that so they radio Sea World and tell them they have found Zigra’s weakness.
Zigra tells everyone that they must surrender or he will destroy the bathysphere. Of course they surrender right away since those stupid kids are in there. Then Laura calls down to Henry and tells him to use his understanding of Zigra to defeat it. Henry seems to understand what she means, which is good since I don’t know what the hell is going on. They turn the lights back on but this time really bright.

Zigra backs off but then shots it’s laser at them. The Sea World folks lose contact with the four of them. Looks like Zigra has won.
Everyone is pretty bummed as you would expect. Some sort of lighting storm passes over the area. This wakes Gamera up but it looks to be too late to save the four deep sea heroes. It has been hours since they lost contact. He finds the craft and brings it to the surface. They pull out the four corpses and set them stretchers on the ground. Wait, they’re not actually dead. The laser just stop their cellular activity. They figure electrical shocks should revive them like with Gamera.
Speaking of which, Gamera is back in the water looking for Zigra and this time he’s ready for that big fish face. Zigra gets in the first blow by slicing Gamera with his dorsal fin. The turtle fights back but Zigra keeps cutting him. But Gamera is just luring him in. When Zigra swims by again Gamera grabs him shoots straight to the surface. They fly high in the air before he drops Zigra on his head. Zigra stands up, wait how can he stand he’s a fish. Anyway Gamera throws a huge boulder at him and it gets stuck on his nose. The weight causes him to fall over. Gamera grabs another boulder and bangs out a little tone and the sharks fins. Then he dances around a bit before roasting Zigra with his flame thrower.

While this was going on Kenny, Helen, Henry and Tom were all revived. Tom tells Kenny and Helen that we all need to do a better job taking care of the oceans.

** Joel and the bots each sing the Gamera theme song in a different style. Joel does a Rastafarian style, Tom does a hip jazz style, will Crow does a rap version. Even Gypsy does a opera version. They finish with a four part harmony style. Dr Forrester and Frank do a punk rock version.

“Helen, wake up!”
No! Are you kidding me? I was out of the film! Don’t wake me up!

Hey I don’t find this funny. I got a meatball on my nose for crying out loud!

Wow, Tokyo Disneyland sucks

This movie is really bad even for a Gamera movie. The riffs are good but it’s still difficult to watch. 2 out of 5

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