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Episode 405

Joel and the bots are playing twenty questions. Tom and Crow make some weird guesses. Frank and Dr Forrester have invented “Tragic Moments” figurines. Joel and the bots have made a Jack Palance impersonation kit. 

Being From Another Planet 

A couple of men enter the darkened tomb of Tutankhamun. Using flashlights they search the tomb and find a lot of dead bodies. They pass through a hole in a wall and find a sarcophagus. They take it back to the California Institute of Sciences. 

Professor Douglas McCadden, the leader of the expedition, has his students unload the relic and bring it into the classroom. They remove the lid to reveal the inner sarcophagus. They take that lid off and inside is a mummy. The first thing they notice is the poor state of the body wrappings. They also notice some sort of mold all over everything. Michael, one of the students, gets a sample. He gets a little bit on his arm. Next they start getting X-rays of the mummy. Oops, they accidentally use way to high of a radiation dosage. I’m sure it will be fine. Later the X-ray technician, Peter, develops the images and notices some strange round spots next to the mummy’s head.

 He sneaks over to the lab, finds a hiden drawer in the sarcophagus, and steals a bag of clear stones. I’m sure that will be fine. To hide his theft he takes another x-ray of the mummy. 

McCadden (Ben Murphy) and another student are cleaning some of the dirt from sarcophagus cover trying to read the inscriptions on it. The student, Susie, gives the professor a little neck rub. Seems they may have more than a student/teacher relationship. I’m sure it’s fine though. 

McCadden calls Dr. Ken Melrose, a pathologist at the school, about the mold. He has Susie take the sample to him for testing. It’s late and McCadden falls asleep at his desk. While he sleeps something starts happening with the mummy but it too dark to see exactly what it is. 

In the morning Susie wakes McCadden. They start looking at the X-rays and notice the area where the clear stones would have been. They find the secret drawer and find some of the mold and it looks really weird but I’m sure it will be okay. 

** Break 

** Joel is dressing the bots up as mummies. They are talking about how lame the mummy is in the movie when Crow mentions Bill Mumy from Lost in Space and how he hasn’t done anything since the tv show ended. Joel sets him straight on Mumy’s accomplishments. 

Peter takes the the stones to a jeweler to get rich but the owner tells him they are worthless. He storms out with the pretty rocks. 

McCadden has Melrose look at the mold in the drawer. He says it’s no longer dormant and to keep everyone away from it until they figure out what it is. However, University President Wendell Rossmore, has scheduled a press conference for today to show off the new artifact. 

The press people start filling in for the big reveal. One of the students notices a bit of the fungus has started growing on the side of the sarcophagus so of course he touches it. His finger immediately turns black and starts to rot. 

He is rushed to the nurse. Im sure he will be fine. Just then Rossmore shows up with his friend Bruce Serrano in tow. Seems Rossmore does not particularly like McCadden and wants to replace him with Serrano. 

Well it’s time for the big unveiling. Rossmore gives a little speech and then McCadden says a few words. They open the lid and find the mummy is missing. This is followed by lots of murmuring by the press. 

Immediately people suspect that one of the fraternities swiped the mummy as part of a prank. Rossmore gives them 24 hours to return it or else. McCadden wants to call in the police but Rossmore over rules him. 

The college cop will find out who did this. 

The mummy of course has not been stolen. It is out searching for its missing jewels. It kills a janitor down in the reactor room. 

McCadden and Melrose go to visit the blackened finger kid. They meet up with Dr. Hayworth who explains that the fungus is continuing to spread. The kid’s whole hand is black now. I’m sure he will okay though. 

A security guard finds the electrical room trashed, McCadden stops by the school’s radio station to plead for the return of the mummy and Rossmore watches tv and drinks. 

Sharpe meanwhile sells one of the stones to a friend for $50 and he takes his girlfriend out for a big dinner. He also gives her one as a pendant. While having dinner, two friends show up. He just happens to owe them each $25. To keep from having to pay them back he gives them one of the stones. One of the friends gives the stone to his girlfriend which earns him a little make out time while she is babysitting.

 The stone start glowing which attracts the mummy. When she goes to check on the baby the mummy attacks her, taking the stone and leaving a huge blackened area on her chest. 

At the hospital, McCadden meets with Melrose (Austin Stoker) and Hathaway as well as Lt. Plummer. He is investigating the attack. 

** Break 

** The bots put together an old fashioned haunted house for Joel complete with bowls of brains, guts and other creepy stuff.

Plummer tries to question the babysitter’s boy friend but he isn’t much help. The mummy has taken the first stone and placed it on some sort of triangle thing. This causes some electrical interference with things around campus but I’m sure it’s fine. 

Melrose goes to talk with McCadden at his office. McCadden has been translating a scroll that was with the mummy. It tells the story of a traveler that came to Egypt and how king Tutankhamun and his servants all die from touching the visitor. It also says that he doesn’t look human. 

A little later, Melrose is running more tests on the fungus and realizes that X-rays cause it to start growing. At the same time, X-rays are taken of the dead girl with predictable results but I’m sure it will be alright. 

Susie is walking to class when a student stops her. He would like to take her out but she is dating McCadden. He gives her a bracelet with one one the mummy stones on it. Seems we have a little foreshadowing going on here but I’m sure she will be fine. 

One of the fraternities is having a costume party so of course Peter dresses up as a mummy, but I’m sure it will… Oh never mind.  

With the party in full swing, mummy guy shows up and snatches one of his stones from a students which kills him. 

He places it on the triangle and causes some more power glitches around campus. Lt Plummer is now convinced there is a serial killer on the loose. 

The next day or maybe some other day, I don’t know, Susie wakes up McCadden at his place. Some sunlight shines through the mummy stone on her bracelet and it projects on the wall a diagram that looks like a radio transmitter. Turns out it matches one they found on some paper with the mummy. 

** Break 

** Tom and Crow are feeling depressed so Joel and Gypsy try to cheer them up but after a bit even they start getting depressed. 

Susie and her bracelet go to the library to do some research. 

Mummy man shows up and it’s chase time. Susie makes it to an elevator and start heading up. The mummy gets into the shaft and begins breaking through the floor so Susie climbs out through the hatch. She makes her way to the roof of the library with the mummy in hot pursuit. She notices the stone on her bracelet is flashing and figures out that it is what the mummy wants. She tries but is unable to get the bracelet off so she keeps on running. She starts climbing down a ladder when the mummy grabs the bracelet off her wrist. She slips from the ladder and falls to the next level. Next she wakes up in the hospital talking to Lt Plummer. She explains what happened and how the mummy was just after the crystals. 

McCadden finds the original x-ray showing the crystals and goes to talk to Peter. When Peter plays dumb McCadden gets a little rough with him. He finally admits his duplicity and gives back the one crystal he has left. His girlfriend friend has the last one, so of course that’s where we are headed next. 

The mummy gets into her place while she’s getting a shower. 

He rips back the curtain but she isn’t wearing the necklace with the crystal on it. He sees it on the basin and off he goes with stone number four. 

McCadden is at the reactor building. He’s waiting around for something when he spots the triangle thing the mummy has been putting the stones on. He takes the one out of his pocket and places it one of the holes. Now there are four stones with one hole left. Just then Rossmore (James Karen), Serrano and the campus cop show up. Serrano accuses McCadden of taking the mummy and hiding it. He is going to call Lt Plummer, get McCadden arrested and then he’ll  be the big time professor. 

Before he can do that though, the mummy comes strolling in. He heads over to his triangle thing and puts the last pretty rock in place. The lights go out and the mummy starts glowing. Turns out he is not just a mummy after all but an alien.

 Serrano tells the cop to shoot it but McCadden jumps in between them and gets shot in the shoulder. He falls down at the aliens feet. The alien reaches down to McCadden who then grabs the aliens hand. Then suddenly the both of them dissappear. All that is left behind is one of the crystals. Serrano runs to grab it. When he does it turns his hand black. 

** As the closing credits role, Tom declares that this is the worst movie they have ever watched. Joel and Crow start naming off all the other movies they have watched and Tom still think this one is the worst. That is until they get to The Castle of Fu Manchu. Tom concedes that it is just as bad as this one. 

Joel and the bots present the TV’s Frank Shopping Network. 

They try to get Frank to push the button to bring them home but Dr Forrester stops him and administers a little punishment as well. 

Ben Murphy starred in Alias Smith and Jones in the 1970’s

Austin Stoker is best know for the 1976 film Assault on Precinct 13. 

James Karen played the real estate developer in Poltergeist.

## Best Riffs 

##  Did Ancient Astronauts wear Lee Press-On Nails?!?

## “So Jack, how do I look?” Cheap.

## “You’ve been X-raying this mummy with ten time the normal dose!” He could die!

Oh my god this movie was so boring. Literally the best thing was the closing credits. The closing skit is the only saving grace for the episode. 1 out of 5.